Surprised by the title? Aren't I supposed to be over in a corner weeping and rocking myself back and forth while curled up in fetal position? For the next 6 months?
Deployments, while a drain emotionally at times, can be a beautiful thing. Do they have their low points? Absolutely. If I could have my husband home at all times, I would. So don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm sitting here going "Oh, if only this deployment could last forever!" Not quite.
But at the same time, why not embrace the great points of a deployment?
1. The house stays cleaner. Way cleaner. Without my husband's uniforms everywhere, his socks draped over lamp shades, making the bathroom three times as dirty, and spilling food all over the place, it's way easier to pick up after just me! (He's really not a disgusting pig, but he's a man. haha A man's man, who just doesn't realize it sometimes.)
2. I have more motivation to get projects done around the house. Organizing the dreaded office closet, attacking the stove, banishing dirt from the garage. All things on my list while he's gone.
3. It's a great way to spend time bonding with my child. When he's home, she is a daddy's girl, all the way. (Ungrateful creature, who carried you for nine months, I ask?!) But now, it's my turn.
4. Last, but absolutely not least, my writing has grown leaps and bounds just since he left a month ago. I mean, seriously. Weird, isn't it? But the stress sometimes just pushes me to write. Emotions tend to be a little more raw without my helpmate to bounce them off of, and you have to channel that energy somewhere. So, pen to paper. (Or, rather, fingers to keyboard.)
There's nothing quite like a bout of anger because you have to hire someone to fix something your husband would take care of in five minutes to make writing a good fight scene easier. Missing him, wishing he could snuggle up with me in front of the TV translates into a beautiful love scene. Having a good laugh at my own expense because something ironic just went wrong turns into a slapstick moment.
This doesn't even include the practical fact that without him here, why bother going to bed early? I don't have anyone to talk to after the baby goes down for the night, so why not write (or pretend to write while chatting in the diva's chat room)? I literally just have more time, period. Not that he didn't respect my writing when he was here, but you do tend to spend time with your spouse when they're present. :)
There's no point in fighting the feelings that wash over you rapid fire during a deployment (or any long separation from your helpmate) so why bother? Go with it. I've learned to let it work for me.
I'm finding the balance between getting a good amount of writing or writing-esque work done and keeping the house running smoothly and caring for my daughter to be somewhat challenging.
Some days are good. The house manages to stay clean, the dishes are done, the baby had a good day and I got a nice chunk of writing done. Others are pathetic. A tornado swept through the house, the cat broke a lamp, the baby is grumpy and I wrote three sentences that I'll probably end up deleting tomorrow. On these days, the only thing I can do is turn in early, hit the reset button, and try again the next day.
It might be because I'm doing this on my own. Who knows? With my husband deployed, he's not here to help out with chores or watching the baby while I take off for a few hours to write uninterrupted. It's frustrating at times, exhausting at others.
But, there's no point in dwelling on what can't be changed. I just have to figure it out, make it work (as Tim Gunn would say) and do the best I can.
Hopefully, the best I can includes being published and raising a happy, healthy daughter!
My name is Jeanette Murray, and I am an aspiring romance novelist. I write contemporary, mostly comedy and suspense. I am currently unpublished, but definitely looking to change that!
I am 25 years old, married with one beautiful daughter. My husband is a Marine, so we move quite a bit. We are currently in North Carolina. The traveling and time alone through deployments has definitely been an inspiration for writing. You meet so many different people and experience so many different things.
Well, that is all I can think of for now. Have a good day!